where the eff ya been???

written by: cyn

hey party peeps… remember me?  yeah i barely do either truth be told.  but never fear… it is ME!

so how does one go from blogging pretty faithfully for four years to literally falling off planet earth? that’s a toughie and if i had a definitive answer you know i’d be all over that shit.  truth is… life got busy and bloggin’ took a back seat or twenty.

what propelled me to even write today?

nothing in particular and in all honesty, i completely forgot how to even navigate this site… so excuse me if this post is all over guam and back!

so how is life you ask?  gee… that would take me awhile to recap but i will give the highlights… IMHO at least.

• peyton graduated high school in june of last year and is currently in his second semester at a local community college not far from where we live.  he’s thriving and doing well although he is blindly taking classes without an ultimate goal in mind… but that is totally allowed in your freshman year.  hell, i spent the good majority of my life trying to figure out what i wanna be when i grow up!
• skylar is in kindergarten, loves it and is doing amazingly!  she goes full time and it has been so good for her with all the stimulation and socializing.  as we all know, miss thing loves to socialize!
• hunter is still working his job at the home depot and informed me yesterday that he is moving out into his own apartment with a lifelong friend.  part of me weeps and another part is overjoyed for him. he and i don’t always see eye to eye (because we’re a lot alike) but i am so immensely proud of him!
• i have not really ran since may of last year.  yeah, as in almost a year ago!  i injured myself (still haven’t seen a proper doc on that one) during the last half marathon i did (errrr…. attempted, i completed by literally hobbling across the finish line but another story for another time.) and running has been pretty much non-existent since then.  am i struggling with that reality?  fuck yeah i am.  it’s a mental battle and a half because running has been “my thang” for so long and i put so much into getting as far as i did and to have it taken away from me in literally one moment is a mind gang bang.  i hate not being able to run and because i let the “run or nothing” mentality take over… i am currently 30lbs heavier than the day i got married last january.   that is another mental battle in itself.  but i am working on that…  
• speaking of married… married life is harder than i ever imagined.  yeah, i am admitting that.  blending families in harder than i ever imagined.  yeah, i am admitting that too.  can i say i am happily married?  no, sadly i cannot, and that is also something i am dealing with… needless to say, its been a very hard year. i have been put in the position to make hard choices —  those of which i am really not willing to divulge at this time.  but even just owning that i am struggling is a huge relief for me.  so thanks blogosphere for giving me that outlet.  oh and no need to fret… i have full faith that life WILL work out the way it is meant to be and i will be just honkey dorey!  (anyone who personally knows me in the real world… please refrain from making any public inquiries as to what any of this means… i will never discuss my relationships publicly — especially via facebook — so i ask ya’ll to respect that… besides, if i wanted you to know, you’d know!) 
• i start school in april!  april 2nd to be exact and i am super excited about that.  i am taking a year long course to be a medical assistant — yeah me!  i know some people… as in some people in the medical field… feel compelled to go into health service, and i had that moment recently.  a calling if you will.  no, not from god — but dean recently had a incident (all is fine with him) where he was in the hospital and i was watching the nurses and what they do and i thought to myself… i could do that.  I SHOULD DO THAT!  two months later (and much debate over attending nursing school) here i am — less than a month away from starting school!  YAY ME!  let’s just pray i look good in scrubs!  (i am thinking bedazzling your scrubs is frowned upon, no?)
• all the girls in the posse are doing fabulous… we are a lucky bunch to have one another.
• i dropped out of the beachbody business… not because i disliked it or believe it’s a rip off or wasn’t doing well.  my head wasn’t fully in it and as i mentioned earlier… i lost all fitness/diet/workout momentum after getting injured.  (if anyone sees my MoJo…send it my way… i miss that fucker!)  it was a bonehead move but i never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box!
• my depression is a weird topic.  i am currently off all medication, and while i am not okay per say (i still struggle with day to day stuff and staying organized and motivated)  — i truly think i am better than i was on it.  i know that makes NO SENSE… and is completely against my doctors recommendation, but it was tough there for awhile with all the side effects and i made a choice i thought was right for me.  in some ways i feel like i am more coherent than ever — in other ways, i fight daily.  it’s a fucked up battle and more times than not i am on the losing team.  but every now and again i score and it feels better than being medicated!
• this winter here in new england has been the worst ever.  i am sure everyone watches the news so i will spare ya with the details but WHAT THE FUCK… i have never seen this much snow in the 20+ years i have lived here and i have to admit that it is more depressing than missing powerball by one number!  i mean seriously mother nature… take a pill, get laid, get drunk… GET FUCKED!  do whatever it takes to be nice and at least let some seasonal weather in.  march 3rd and wading through four feet of snow is some serious bullshit if you ask me! HMMPH!

so that about sums it uip… not really, but enough that me being me… i can continue to blog from here out as if i were never gone for ALMOST A GOSH DARN YEAR…

it’s all about me after all, right?

*snort*

the weird thing is that i have thought about blogging for some time now… i think i was just scared to jump back into it without all the “LIFE IS GREAT” nonsense…which in itself is nonsense because i honestly do not know one person who isn’t struggling with at least ONE THING in their life.  yeah, so i have my hands full with some shit going on… but i have been down and out before and came back better than ever and have absolutely no doubts i can do it again!  i have a lot to wrap my head around both personally and not… but i am a redheaded ninja… a ginja — you can’t fuck with me for too long LIFE before i snap and nunchuck your ass to death!  and bitches be snappin’!

peace, love and margaritas bloggy peeps!  

cyn

*** feel free to comment and send me some love… ginja’s need love too yanno 😉

the great whole wheat pasta debate

written by: cyn knight
happy tuesday-ness kittens!

so as you all know (because i will stop and tell it to anyone who listens) i am back on the vegetarian wagon.
last night for dinner i had this…
(because i know your day is not complete without knowing what i ate…)
basically it’s a veggie (zucchini, celery and green bell pepper) sauteed in coconut oil with a little lowery’s seasoning and some white sesame seeds and served with WHITE basmati rice and drizzled with rachel ray’s reduced balsamic vinegar (i could drink it from the bottle i swear!).

yeah okay — so what of it?
well, i posted this question on my personal facebook page:

am i the only one out there that hates whole wheat pasta and brown rice? (except brown rice sushi — that shit is hella good!) i have tried to learn to like it but BLECH — i will just eat less of the other stuff and be happy!

i got varied responses — some people love whole grains, some people agreed with me and some just don’t eat it all — refined or whole grain!   people are VERY opinionated about they eat and don’t eat — that much i know!

i admit that the pasta aisle gives me anxiety!

and yes, i  also know the science — the whole wheat/grains are better for you. they keep you fuller longer and have better health benefits than clearly anything processed and bleached.

Whole-grain products are significantly higher in fiber and nutrients than their refined counterparts, but dried pasta made from a mixture of water and refined durum wheat, or semolina, is still the most widely consumed type of pasta in the United States. During processing, wheat loses roughly 60 percent of its grain, a portion that includes its most nutritious components, the bran and the germ. Consequently, refined wheat provides less than half the amount of B vitamins and minerals as the whole grain. Whole-grain pasta contains fewer calories and supplies about three times as much fiber and 25 percent more protein than traditional pasta, according to the book “Whole Grains For Busy People.”  (via sfgate.com)

but it got me to thinking…
clearly eating healthier options is best but do you do so at the sacrifice of taste and eat something you don’t like AT ALL simply because it’s good for you?
it made me think of my weight watcher leader trisha.
she told us the first year she joined weight watchers she ate a certain brand of yogurt because it was lower in calories yet she loathed them.
and she did this every day for breakfast for a YEAR!
then one day she had a revelation — why was she eating something she loathed to save a few calories?
so she switched back to her preferred brand and enjoyed what she was eating and to her, that was worth the extra calories (pointsplus values)!
and that story has always stuck with me!

this is why i use real butter, real sour cream, real sugar (in raw demerara form) and NEVER buy fat free products.
and this is also why i do not eat whole wheat pasta and brown rice.
i hate the way it tastes — i have to boil the shit out of it to make it edible to me and at that point — what’s the point?!?! i have most likely boiled out the additional nutrients and benefits!

now whole grain breads i happen to love and will always choose over white flour bread — there again, it comes down to taste.  i like the heartiness of whole grain breads!

so why am i rambling about all this?
because i truly think you should enjoy what you do — eating included!
i would much rather have a smaller portion of something i truly enjoy than a bounty of something i hate!
simple as that!
and i think if more people took that approach — their journey to healthier eating and living might be a wee bit easier?

no, i have not re-invented the wheel here and clearly some people struggle with portion control — myself included.
but this journey should not be all about sacrifices and doing things you don’t want to do!
eat what you love in moderation…
find a workout/activity you ENJOY doing…
surround yourself with people and situations that uplift you!
and MOST of all — be kind to yourself!

this journey is SO personal — what works for me is not likely to work for you — but the basics behind it work for everyone — at least i think so.

thoughts???

peace, love and margaritas,
cyn
xxoo

life after the funk…

written by: cyn knight
happy hump day bloggywood!

so after two weeks of feeling like ran over shit (freakin voodoo death flu/cold!) i am finally starting to really feel semi-human again!
so much so that this happened today…
yeah – i ran!
and considering i am just getting over being really sick and cannot breathe like *normal* yet – i think i did pretty damn good!
running a 5k is the furthest i have ran since june 23rd!
JUNE TWENTY THIRD!
eesh!
plus today was the *official* beginning of princess half-mary training. i am restarting the app and doing it faithfully every day.
the nice thing about this particular app (same app company that i used for c25k) is that it tells you what to do every single day for the next 13 weeks. it incorporates four run days a week, two cross-training days and one day off!
i can handle this – plus four run days a week is perfect for me!

as you can see – i am getting over my funk and getting back into my groove. truth is, summer is ending (pool closes tomorrow – le sigh) and it’s getting into better running weather (hotter than a MoFo this morning though) and i am ready to shed these 10lbs i gained over the summer and FINALLY get to a more comfortable weight.
my clothes are tight and i am just not feeling as badass these days.
and ummm well, fuck that noise!
i am too badass not to feel badass, right?
*wink*

i have a show (gone for days, lansdowne and EYE EMPIRE!!!!) that my bestie/maid of dishonor and i are attending back up in hampton beach on october 3rd and i have set some goals for myself and have an outfit i would like to be ROCKIN’ for that evening!

THE motivation outfit!

i can technically get in the outfit now – but i wanna wear it without getting a backache from sucking it in all night!
(doncha hate when that happens?)

so my plan is basically to follow the half-marathon trainer, drink my shakeology daily still, eat clean and healthy, and do the 30 day shred.
yeah i know i am a beachbody coach and 100000000% stand by our workouts – but for me it comes down to a time issue. i wish i could follow the half-mary training and do an intense one hour workout everyday like insanity or p90x – but at this point planning on that would set me up for failure.
so i am going back to jillian (whom i never stopped loving!) and doing the 30 day shred which i KNOW will give me killer results and get me back on track!
after that i will be doing shaun t’s T25 FOCUS workout and joining a challenge group to keep me motivated!
i haven’t ordered my copy yet or i would be doing that now – but I WILL be ordering it this coming week!
the T25 workout is 25 minutes a day, five days a week for ten weeks – i can SO handle that!

in other news:
the station fire memorial foundation annual bike run was this past sunday and despite some pretty nasty weather it went great!

beyond blonde!!

my son peyton got back to school last week without a hitch!
can you believe i have one who is starting his senior year and another who is starting pre-school next week?
yeah imagine trying to wrap your head around that fact!!!

wedding plans are going good!
less than five months away!
OH.MY.GAWD.

we are still working on moving… that has been a much harder process than i imagined – but i have faith it will all work out and we will end up in the most perfect home for us and our family!

disney vacation plans are going superbly – that is just a little under six months away! and of course i will be running the princess half-marathon while we are there so i have A LOT to look forward to!

SO MUCH going on in my little world.
you will hear the BIGGEST sigh of relief come march 1st!
ha!

so that is where life stands with me…
how are you all?
i am SO behind on catching up and just realized that some of you are expecting, had babies and i have NO clue where the time went!
eeeesh!

peace, love & carpe diem kittens!
xxoo
cyn

*** can’t get enough of my ass?
you can find out ALL about & where to find me on about.me/cynknight

feeling better…

written by: cyn knight
happy saturday-ness bloggywood!

so the past two days have been better.
and i can only attest it to my mind over matter attitude about it all.
i said i was done, and i am in fact, DONE!

i set goals for the month…
correction: i set REALISTIC and ATTAINABLE goals for the month…
i have to bump up the 10 miles a week to about 12.5 because i decided to give the #50milesinmarch a whirl. (i got 3.76 miles in so far — w00ts w00ts)
i know i sucked last month but i have everything going in my favor this month. a longer month for one, less chances of a major blizzard and i have two 5k’s next week so that’s a nice chunk added to my week.
i’m determined to get ‘er done!

i also started level 4 in the ripped in 30 and all i can say is holy-effin-burpees.
ugh.

i SO need this shirt…

is there a person alive who actually likes burpees???
i mean other than freaks of nature like jillian michaels.

i’m steadily approaching 60 days down in the #90kickassdays too & i have decided that i am not stepping foot on that scale or taking measurements until it’s complete.
can i really go another (i weighed-in this morning one last time as was pleasantly surprised that i hadn’t gained despite feeling like the stay-puff marshmallow girl all week!) 30-something days without stepping on the scale?
this may be my toughest challenge yet!
but i’d like to think of it more as an experiment than a challenge.
i’m trying to shift focus on the fitness/health aspect of this journey and NOT just about what the number on some clearly diabolical manmade contraption says.
and i cannot do the full shift with the scale workings it’s ugly voodoo on me all the time.
so adios scale!
until april 9th that is…

next thursday i conclude ripped in 30 and i am unsure what workout i should take on next for the final 30 days? i thought about doing the shred and ripped again – in order throughout the month?
i have a little over a week to decide.

right now i am about to get dressed like an adult – meaning no workout clothes – which i seem to live in these days – and head out for some time out at our favorite spot and a much needed tasty beer.

*snicker*

i have earned it.

ohhhh…
one final thing, and i was a bit leery about putting this on here as i am wicked superstitious but… i want my intent out there in the universe; especially since my little epiphany the other day and my decision to let the universe take me where i am meant to be.
but i put in for a job that would be perfect for me and while i am not exactly qualified per say judging by my work experience, i know i could handle it.
today i got a letter in the mail which i assumed was my *thanks but no thanks* letter.
wrong!
it was an invite to take a written test for the job in a couple of weeks.
i made it to the next step!
yayyyyyy!
so good news. even though i haven’t sealed the job and may never get past the test, just getting to the next stage has brought some much needed ego stroking!

peace, love & margaritas kittens!
xxoo
cyn

*** can’t get enough of my ass?
you can find out ALL about & where to find me on about.me/cynknight

see my store at Zazzle

starting anew…

written by: cyn knight
happy friday eve blogorama!

so today was supposed to be my doctor’s appointment @ 8:15am. i planned to get there and run home – a nice three miler.
until…
i get a phone call at 7:55 saying that my doc is sick and i needed to reschedule.
groan.
i was so ready to get this ball rolling and now it has to be pushed back until the 18th of march.
über bummed!

but tomorrow is a new month and i am ready to put the past week or so behind me and start anew.
i’m so over being über bummed!

i’m done stressing over things i cannot control.
i’m done worrying about the fucking scale. i am going to focus on fitness and try to eat the best i can and i am setting my goal weight to be 170. it’s not perfect but i look good at that weight, my clothes fit perfectly, and best of all – i can maintain it!
i’m done worrying about money. i have been putting my resume out there and i have to trust the universe to get me where i am supposed to be. skylar should be in preschool by the fall (fingers crossed – we have open house at the school i hope to get her into the end of this month) and it’s time for me to get back out there. just ask my bank account – it will scream a big ol’ *ABOUT TIME BITCH*!
i am done being mad and disappointed – i will leave it at that because that is a vast subject with me lately.
i am done being complacent and waiting for the things i want. no one is going to hand them to me and i need to work harder!
i am SO done with insomnia – the shittiest side effect of the depression rearing it’s fugly head. how i am not exhausted i will never know. in two weeks i have not been to bed before 2am and am up 7-7:30am. the only time i sleep is saturday night after i’ve had a few beers. heh.
and speaking of which — i am so done with depression and the hold it has on me. it makes the mundane so massive and that sucks more than i can iterate. i am determined to get on the right meds and in a better routine.
so yeah, i am done.

i did finally get a run in today – the first since saturday. another indicator that something is going on – when my running slacks that is.
wasn’t my best run ever – but i got my ass out there.
i have two 5ks not this coming weekend but the next so i need to get the fuck over it all and train better!
and as you can see i didn’t come close to finishing the #48milesinfebruary challenge — but i am allowing myself to be okay with that.

also finished the #missionselflove meme on instagram today.

that was fun and starting a new one tomorrow… play along if ya like.
things like this keep me motivated and lately i need all the motivating i can get!

but as i said, tomorrow i start anew.
there is light at the end of this dark tunnel!!

peace, love & margaritas kittens!
xxoo
cyn

*** can’t get enough of my ass?
you can find out ALL about & where to find me on about.me/cynknight

see my store at Zazzle

yes, i’m still alive…

written by: cyn knight
happy wednesday-ness blogorama…

yeah, i have been a wee bit MIA – not intentional, just how it is.
this has been a tough weekend/week – but i will refrain from getting into it.
i’m fine – and really it isn’t about me. just hard to watch those you love suffer and struggle through something, ya know?
especially when there is absolutely nothing you can do to really help change anything – all i can do is be there and i am trying like hell.

and it has affected my efforts as far as eating and working out goes. i am going through the motions but very *meh* about it all.
it just hasn’t been my top priority the past few days and really it’s okay – i know i will get better motivated and my frame of mind will change.
i am trying – gotta good run in yesterday and doing my jillian – so no complaints.
i am terribly behind on the #48milesinfebruary. i have about 24 in and that means i need to do about a 5k every single day until the end of the month.
yeah…
i’m gonna try like hell but man oh man.

and this was supposed to be our getaway romantic weekend in maine and sadly that needed to be postponed. car issues/crazy week/among other things & all indicators pointed to waiting a few weeks or so and re-plan.
boo hiss!
BUT… we are using a comp freebie hotel room this saturday so not all is lost!

and i hate to even type this but… there is a good chance that once again i may need to put weight watchers on hold.
okay lie – i canceled my account yesterday – i am paid through the end of next month; but unless something major changes – i am a weight watcher flunk-ee yet AGAIN!
ugh.
i have missed more weekly meetings than i have attended and honestly it’s a waste of money if i am not going to make the meetings & i just cannot seem to make the meetings because i absolutely refuse to drag my daughter with me.
yeah, i could do e-tools – but not for nothing, my fitness pal (theracyredhead is my MFP name – come find me) is free and free works for me – especially with all the expenses ahead of us with our disney trip & the wedding.
and let’s not bullshit one another – clearly i am not fully committed or i would find a way to get to my meetings.
and that realization pisses me off.
the scale is going down and it scares me to leave AGAIN!
and i feel like such a quitter – bah!

after this weekend away i am recommitting to trying to eat healthier.
overall i do well – but i have moments (okay, entire weekends) where my *fuck it* attitude wins over my *you really shouldn’t* better sense.
eating is my true struggle.
but i am doing better than not so that is better than throwing ALL caution to the wind, right?

so yeah…
this is kind of a debbie downer post & i am sorry for that.
the main reason i haven’t written in a week – who needs to hear me moan and groan again.
there is A LOT i am leaving out, but i am just not comfy discussing some of it and other bits i am just not ready to get into.
but like i said, i am okay.
truly.
just a (HUGE) bump in the road and i can wage this war no problem!

and a semi-happier note: still going strong with the #missionselflove meme on instagram — as you can see!

 

how are y’all doing out there?
i am sorry i have been a shitty reader – off to catch up with ya lovely bloggy peeps as soon as i post!

peace, love & margaritas kittens!
xxoo
cyn

*** can’t get enough of my ass?
you can find out ALL about & where to find me on about.me/cynknight

see my store at Zazzle

shout out or showoff???

written by: cyn knight
day:37.2

tee gee eye eff kittens!

i want to start off by saying that this has been one hell of a good week.
no, i didn’t win the lottery or anything for that matter.
i just feel badass again.
yay for that shit!

as of today – i have logged a little over 20 miles in (running/c25k) since sunday.
yeah, wicked badass.
and yes, i am totally tootin’ my own horn.
which brings me to the topic at hand.

do you think braggin’ about your accomplishments is rude/showy/conceited/insensitive?
mainly weight loss/fitness/health related that is…
i mean my blog is primarily about my journey into a healthier lifestyle although i do show off and brag about my kids/family A LOT.
but for the most part – the majority is ALL ABOUT ME!
(and for me, not for nuttin’)

the reason i ask is this is because…
a friend of mine has recently lost a significant amount of weight in a relatively short period of time – and trust me, girlfriend has worked for every pound lost all while juggling a pretty hectic life.
she deserves a major shoutout and regularly.
we all do – because losing weight and changing your life is hard work!
anywho…
it amazes me that she felt compelled to apologize for letting the world know via facebook of her amazing accomplishments.
i am so guilty of that it’s shameful.
i post it on facebook (in two places, my blog page AND my personal page)
twitter
instagram
foursquare (i check in everytime i go to the gym and/or run)
mapmyrun AND the c25k app because i am running two apps at once while i run – yeah OCD much?
i am a total social media/braggin’ ho!
i own that shit!

BUT…
a kind word really goes a LONG way and makes all the sacrifice and hard work worthwhile. because while this is about health and improving quality of life we would all be lying our asses off if we said it has nothing to do with vanity.
we ALL know we are dying to hear the words, “wow, you have lost A LOT of weight!”
“you’re so thin!”
“you look amazing!”
and this is why i cheer anyone and everyone along because i, of all people, know how hard this is and that acknowledgement just urges me on to do more and be better!
so trust me – every comment you guys leave means the world to me & does all that and then some!

and i know i overload with the pics & such in regards to myself… i don’t mean it to come across as conceited – i am just wicked proud of myself mostly.
especially with the running.
it is surreal to be doing the one thing that has eluded me whole life.
also the one thing i have avoided like the plague since 7th grade when we were forced to do that *presidential fitness test* (aka legalized torture of children) that really equated to me making a complete ass out of myself and failing miserably!

so please pardon me (and anyone else) who is abundant with the self shout outs – we are just elated to be doing things we thought impossible not all that long ago…

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

*** can’t get enough of my ass?
find me on FACEBOOK & TWITTER for even more ass!

this & that thursday…

written by: cyn knight
day:36.2

haaaaaay it’s thursday kittens!

so just a few things to get off my chest.
bear with me, this may get weird and definitely random!

thing #1:
i broke a nail scooping ice cream this week.
(yeah, i am a professional – i have a kickass scoop and everything!)
yeah, it was for myself (i tracked it, what of it?) but i couldn’t help but feel like i was being punished???
either way, pretty fucked up if you ask me!

thing #2:
i got hives last night. BAD!
i have had a random hive – mainly one (yes, just one) in the center of my forehead like a cyclops (don’t ask me why).
this was nothing like that.
i had them on my neck, chest, wrist (yes, just one wrist), jawline, lower back and worst of all – on my ass. BAD!
and i am not talking about a scattered hive or two. i was a mess of welts! i had welts on my fucking welts!!!
no offense to anyone, but my ass looked like the elephant man!
weirdly they itched for about five minutes, stopped and then all the hives were gone???
and no, i have no allergies, i ate nothing unusual, haven’t used a new detergent, shampoo, soap and/or lotion…
anyone ever experience this???
or better yet have a rational explanation???
bizarro…
(i sooo wanted to take a pic but that’s kinda gross and definitely TMI!)

thing #3:
we have a local woman in these parts who i have seen running for yearsssssss…
i am guessing she is in her 50’s???
she is severely thin, has a horrible limp and is out running all over town in all weather.
rain, sleet, snow – she is the postal worked of running!
now i do not know this woman but i have always speculated what drives her to be so dilligent with running.
now i am not saying i am a *runner* but i have ran more in the past four weeks than i have in my entire life and even in my novice state – i totally get how someone can become addicted.
or dare i say in this woman i mentioned case; obsessed.
running makes me feel so badass.
wonder woman badass even!
btw: my badass did this today!
i am not fast but i AM determined to get her done!

and finally thing #4:

WERD!!!

pumpkin is overdone.
i am of the belief that pumpkin pie is served but one time of year and that is thanksgiving and last i looked… it’s a fucking month away!
i eat one slice and i am done until next year.
now everywhere you look it’s pumpkin flavored yadda yadda…
boo hiss!
makes me wanna boycott pumpkin – even the pie on turkey day!

there ya have it & i am really not sure how to end a post like this?
the end?
sorry to bore the pants off ya?
yes, i am taking my meds?
wow, that sucked?

oh well…
peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

*** can’t get enough of my ass?
find me on FACEBOOK & TWITTER for even more ass!

über random…

written by: cyn knight

day: 21.2
humpity humps kittens!

wow, mid-week already??
is it just me or is this week flying???

so i made a decision…
(yeah another one… heh.)
i am rejoining weight watchers.
i never wanted to quit – but i needed the time off to get the chaos is a reasonable order and work out a better budget.
i have done that & i will be attending my first meeting this friday @ 10am!
(yes, i know i said i was changing my weigh-in day to monday but tricia my leader only has an early week meeting on tuesday, which is skylar’s dance class, and i insist on attending ONLY her meetings – so friday it is!)
i do love myfitnesspal and think it’s an amazing site, but weight watchers is the ONLY weight loss program that has ever really worked for me & if it ain’t broke, why fix it???
so there ya have it & i am super psyched to be returning!!!

moving along…
even though my pool was officially closed over a week ago (sooo depressing…) i have been holding on to summer like there is no tomorrow.
and then…
i saw this on my walk/jog/run/ today…

hello fall foliage!

AND this while out shopping…
whiskey tango foxtrot!?!?!
can we not have halloween at least before xmas is being shoved down our throats?
grrrr…
retail hell gets more hellish by the nanosecond & here i was this morning filling out applications for seasonal help in one of previously mentioned hells.
not the job i want but santa (and everything else) is expensive!

so i have been trying to catch up on my fave blogs and such and i was really saddened to see peeps have altogether quit blogging, haven’t in awhile, or haven’t in a really long while!
i am such an ass for not knowing this… and am sad to see some peeps not around.
but i also just wanna say YAY for all of you who are still out there bloggin’ like a MoFo!
(any new blogs ya wanna suggest — feel free!)
and anyone who wants to swaps buttons — lemme know and i will add ya to my *bitchin’ blogs* tab!

ohhh and one final thing…
i so needed a haircut in the worst way.
if you have been following since the purple goddess days you might remember my *day of beauty* i got for my 41st bday.
well, i am embarrassed to say that is the last time i stepped foot in a salon and that is welllllll over a year ago.
so needless to say i have been trimming my own hair all this time.
yeah, i am THAT girl.
but today i decided enough is enough and let a professional work some magic and went in a whole new direction as i have had the same hair for longer than i should even admit.
this is my new ‘do & i love it!!!
(don’t mind the shitty pic)

awww bangs!

one friend told me i look ten years younger and that is probably the best compliment ANY woman in her 40s (and above) can get!
change is good peeps!

are you guilty of a hair rut like i was?
have you ever considered a drastic change?
new cut?
new color??

anywho, happy humps kittens!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

*** can’t get enough of my ass?
find me on FACEBOOK & TWITTER for even more ass!

weigh-in vol:35 & the weekend that was…

written by: cyn knight

day: 302
happy tuesday-ness peeps!

phew! what a busy weekend!
how was yours?!?!

mine started with FINALLY (after two weeks) making it to my weight watcher weigh-in/meeting and i was DOWN .8lbs and i will gladly take it!
matter of fact – i was elated!!! finally the scale is going in the direction i want!
and it was kickass to be back at my meeting with all my ww buddies and leader!
i have missed it…
and i had another great chat with my leader – she rocks balls, truly!
remember how i was teetering with whether or not to change my goal weight from 164 to 170? well, i decided i don’t want to cop out – i was barely over a pound away and i will get there again!
i hope to be at goal before summer ends…

friday night i went out with the redheaded posse and we had a BLAST at our usual haunt where an 80’s hair band cover band named MULLET (link takes you to their site) was playing.
so much freakin’ fun rockin’ out like it was 1986… !

saturday i got up early and went to the beach with some friends for the day & it was the most perfect beach day…
so freakin’ relaxing!
after the *ex’s drama* i had last week (and every week prior)… i needed it.

and a little confession…
i went to the beach with a fella – the same fella i have had a couple of lunches with and went to the beach with a week or so ago.
no, we are not *dating*…
he has been a friend of mine for ten years or better and just someone i have always enjoyed hanging out with because he is drama free, fun to be around, and a mellow soul like me.
we get each other and it’s cool.
we ended up hanging out with one of my best friends and her relatively new boyfriend. we all went out near the water saturday night and then crashed at her house overnight.
it was the getaway that this chica needed!

but of course reality reared it’s ugly head on sunday when the ex (he no longer deserves to be called by name so he will be known as *the ex* from now on…) decided to be a douche’ yet again.
i will spare you all the torrid details (as they are ugly) but let’s just say that i am sticking to my vow to no longer tolerate his behavior and he is none too happy about it.
sadly my daughter suffers in this because he has no qualms in using her to try and get to me.
and that is just unexcusable and of course makes me feel bad – but that is on him – not me – and i am not falling for his lameass tactics anymore, even the ones in which he uses our child.
and shame on him!
and i was forced to throw the no contact order in his face and threaten to call the cops – because that is the point he has driven me to – and i will go there if need be to keep the peace & him from continually fucking with me.

i am saying no to being treated any less than i deserve – even from him!

moving along…
i have to admit that i wasn’t the best weight watcher over the weekend, but i did honestly track everything and surprisingly it wasn’t as bad as i thought.
i’m not in the red & there is always that wonderful option of earning activity points – so all is good & i am hoping to end the week with a bang!

how is everyone else doing out there?!?!?!
hopefully all you kittens are amazingly fabulous!

peace, l♥ve & sangria bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

*** can’t get enough of my ass?
find me on FACEBOOK & TWITTER for even more ass!